Using Description- Showing, Not Telling

Description
It is the recipe for a great narrative. Your job is to make the story a mind movie for your reader. In prior blog posts, you've learned that strategies for using description in your narrative:  Detailing a Person, Place, or Thing,  Elaborating on an Event, and Using Sensory Details.
Today you'll learn another strategy called Showing, Not Telling.

Showing, Not Telling
There is a difference between showing and telling.  Think of the concept of Show and Tell.  First you showed the item, then you told about it.

• How was showing it different than telling about it?

Showing is a special way of telling.  It means you can visualize it.  The readers may all see the same thing.  Now how can we do this with our writing?

Take these two examples:

The food looked gross.

The gray slimy slop sloshed in the bowl.

• Which one "tells" and which one "shows"?

More examples:

(I took this from Lola's story)

I looked up and saw a panicked squirrel.

Above me a squirrel darted and forth from one tree branch to another, chattering loudly.

How is showing different from telling?

Can you turn these telling sentences into showing sentences?  Give it a try in a comment.

It was cold.
It was hot.
My mom is nice.
My friend is funny.
The sky was beautiful.
The day was dreary.
His outfit is colorful.
My bedroom is plain.
My desk is messy.
My bedroom is messy.
The pizza was good.
I like school.
Recess is fun.
I have a good friend.

Using Description- Sensory Details

Description
It is the recipe for a great narrative. Your job is to make the story a mind movie for your reader.  
In the past 2 blog posts, you have learned how to detail a person, place, or thing, and how to elaborate an event.  Today you'll learn to use description by adding sensory details.

Sensory Details
Sensory details use your senses- taste, touch, feel, hear, and see.  Choose a part of your story that would pop out at the reader better if you described it using one or more of your senses.

Example
It is raining outside.

Using Sensory Details
I took this piece of writing from Jadee's blog.  I think she did a nice job using sensory details here.
I can hear the rain pouring down, hitting the ground, making a “splash”. It feels cold and refreshing, considering I had just woke up.

Using Description- Drawing From Word Lists

Description
It is the recipe for a great narrative. Your job is to make the story a mind movie for your reader. In prior blog posts, you've learned that strategies for using description in your narrative:  Detailing a Person, Place, or Thing,  Elaborating on an Event, Using Sensory Details, and Showing, Not Telling

Today you'll learn another strategy called Drawing from Word Lists.

Drawing from Word Lists 

Using interesting words will give the reader a better visual while reading.  I will usually use simple words in my first write then go back and revise with stronger ones using my thesaurus.  There are many online sites you can use to find stronger words (synonyms).  A free one I use is http://thesaurus.com/.

Example:

I walked home after crashing my bike.

I'd like a stronger word for walked.  I'd like to show my reader how I walked after crashing my bike.
I looked up walk using www.thesaurus.com.  Here is what I got.

Now after crashing my bike, I certainly wouldn't be strutting or prancing.  I can't just use any word on the list, I have to make sure it makes sense.  Sometimes, I look up words in the dictionary after I search on a thesaurus to make sure I'm using it correctly.

I like the word ambled. I looked it up on www.dictionary.com.  Here's what it said:

It means to go at a slow and easy pace.  That's what I want readers to see when they read this sentence.

I'll choose to use the word ambled.  

I ambled home after crashing my bike.

After using this strategy for awhile, you'll notice your vocabulary growing!  It's amazing how fast that happens :0)

Please give some examples that you've used in a comment below.

Using Description- Elaborating an Event

Description
It is the recipe for a great narrative. Your job is to make the story a mind movie for your reader.  
Last post, you learned how to detail a person, place, or thing.  This post you'll learn another strategy.

Elaborating an event
You begin by selecting an important event from a piece of writing.  Then elaborate on it.  Elaborate means to tell more, to make it longer, to add details.

Example:
I took my dog for a walk.

Let's elaborate:
Last evening, I took a walk with my dog, Max.  I usually take the same path so I can greet my neighbors and check on the miniature ponies in the choral a half mile down the road, but this time I chose I new route.  Max and I turned south instead of north and walked toward the railroad tracks. Max is little more cautious when we veer from our usual route, his nose stays close to the ground, sniffing every rock, crevice, and pothole.  We walk slower, taking in the new scenery. An abandoned dilapidated barn to my right, old boots dangled on the fence posts to my left. The sun begins to set. The air feels crisp.  "Let's go home, Max," I command.  He turns and we walk back.  I believe I'll venture this direction again.


What is the difference between the two examples above?

Using Description-Detailing a Person, Place, or Thing

Description
It is the recipe for a great narrative. Your job is to make the story a mind movie for your reader.  
Many of you said it best on an edmodo post when I asked the question:  What is reading?

                                      Carter:
                                       You want to be in the book picture in your mind what the setting of the place look like or                                                          what the characters look like.

Now how do we do that?

Detail a Person, Place, or Thing

Use detail to describe "select" people, places, or things.  Select means you need to be selective.  Not every item should be detailed, your job is to find the right part to detail and move the story along.  Other parts should be simply stated.  You must think about your story and select parts to detail.

For example:

I can't believe how messy my daughter's room is.  Her clothes are all over the room, but at least they are clean.

Let's turn that into a detail:

I can't believe how messy my daughter's room is.  Her dresser is piled with clothes: jeans, sweatshirts, socks, and belts all thrown on top of each other.  A blue T-Shirt hangs from the hidden white dresser drawer, a flowered scarf partially covers her jewelry box.  I cannot see the floor so tiptoe on top of her pillows, careful not to dirty them with my shoes.  I remember neatly folding those clothes and stacking them in her hot pink laundry basket. That was only yesterday.

How are two pieces above different?
Why would you need to be select when choosing a detail to describe?

*Ideas taken from Gretchen Owocki's book The Common Core Writing Book